God hates atheists!

From the deliciously funny Stuff God Hates blog comes this latest entry. Here’s a sampler.

Satanic atheist creatures of the night have no morals and cannot be trusted. They break into Christian homes at night. They perform abortions on unwilling pregnant mothers and then eat the aborted babies.

They regularly burn down churches, rape the retarded, rob the elderly, murder the suicidal, torture the crippled, kidnap the poor, lie, cheat and do drugs. And when they run out of dead babies to eat, they turn on each other for sustenance.

Some of the most evil people in the history of the world were devout atheists: Adolph Hitler, Joey Stalin, Napoleon Bonaparte, Charles Darwin, Benjamin Franklin, Helen Keller, Ghandi, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, John Lennon – need I go on?

they commit the most evil act of all by continually pestering My Followers with logic-based questions. Why must they do this?!

You should read for yourself. This entry is simply priceless.

First Name: In God – Last Name: I’m with Stupid

In God is currently driving a bus, literally. Bus driver, formerly known as Steve Kreuscher, has legally changed his name to “In God We Trust”.

A Lake County judge granted permission to the Zion man Friday to officially change his name to “In God We Trust.” That’s “In God” as a first name and “We Trust” as a last name.

Ok, I guess I’m ok with stupid people labeling themselves for the rest of us to know. I am sure there is something blasphemous about this as well, you know the whole “taking the name of the lord in vain” kinda thing. But what really bothers me is that this thing was allowed to happen, and it took a whole 2 minutes!

The entire process before Judge David Hall took less than two minutes, but We Trust said he was quite nervous.

Well, actually the whole application process took about 3 months, but the judge made up his mind in 2 minutes, and it only cost $600.

The process to change his name took roughly three months.

The really sad thing is that if another person had applied to have their name changed to “God is dead” he would most likely be denied, and that’s almost as good as fact! Unfortunately there is a double standard in the US today, which we need to shake off.

Now let’s end this in a light note:

Throughout the course We Trust said he was looking for a sign from God that would let him know it was a good idea. He got it one day while adding up the expenses for the name change, which came out to roughly $600.

“I didn’t want to use my own money because things are tight,” said the father of four. “Three weeks later, I got my (tax) rebate check for $600.”

I would like to know how much is “roughly $600” because ironic as life is I think it would be hilarious if this amount was closer to $666 than $600. Wouldn’t that be a nice sign?

Want to ask God a question…and have it answered?

Lately I have become aware of an awesome blog by the Almighty God himself. And the latest post is such an example of his endless benevolence. I mean taking time out of running the universe in order to answer questions from us lowly humans is pretty decent, I think, although he’s not too kind on some, most, of them.

Illegal immigrants break 1,000 year-old ban…on women

Well, almost 1,000 year-old. Four Moldovan women illegal immigrants were dropped off in the peninsula of mount Athos, which apparently is monastery territory which has a standing ban on women being on premises, dating back to the year 1,045.

They told police they had sailed from Turkey after paying $6,300 to two Ukrainian people smugglers, but were unaware they were breaking Greek law.

The Greeks actually have a law, on the books, prohibiting vaginas from entering mount Athos? Weird!

Under Greek law, breaching the ban can lead to a jail sentence.

Women – even many female domestic animals – have not been allowed on the mountain since a decree banning women was issued by Byzantine Emperor Constantine Monomachos in 1045.

But, thankfully the story had a happy ending. The women were “forgiven” by the monks. Yeah, I get it, I would get really irritated if I was spending all my time alone in some island/peninsula with a bunch of other guys, and four women happened to drop by.

That aside, isn’t it funny to get in trouble due to a law issued in 1,045? I find that fascinating, even though it looks as though the Greeks aren’t taking that law too seriously themselves, and kudos to them for that.

Donkey jailed for being an ass

This is so ridiculously funny, it must be true. A donkey has been locked up in jail in Mexico for bitting and kicking a couple of guys. If that wasn’t funny enough check out what the police has to say about this.

Police officer Sinar Gomez said the donkey would remain behind bars until its owner agreed to pay the men’s medical bills.

“Around here, if someone commits a crime they are jailed,” he said. “No matter who they are.”

This guy is actually referring to a donkey as “someone” and “who”. Where do they find these guys? Apparently they seem to have experience in this area.

Chiapas police have thrown animals in the clink before, including a bull that ate corn crops and destroyed two wooden market stalls in March.

In 2006, a dog was locked up for 12 days for biting someone.

This is really bizarre and hard to believe. Sky News is not England’s version of The Onion, is it?